step forward

"That's crazy."

So, it is. That's okay. 

Listen, a little bit of crazy is a good thing.

You know that outfit you were a little too afraid to wear, because, you know, what will they think- isn't it a little too out there?

You know that hairstyle you liked, the one that you quickly undid, because, you know, no one puts their hair up like that, do they?

You know that sentence you almost blurted out, but then decided to bite your tongue at the last moment, because, you know, wouldn't that have been a stupid thing to say?

You know that thing you almost did, before someone else doubted you and made you back down, because, you know, who were you to try something new, something out of your comfort zone, something no one else thought you'd be able to do? You'd probably just screw it up anyway, wouldn't you? 

So, just keep quiet. Don't voice what you think or feel.

Stay back. Yes, that's where you belong, there at the back.

Don't step over the line. It's there, can't you see it?

No. 

Stop. The world has damaged your thinking, our thinking. The world has forced you into a shape you don't fit in.

The line? You know what? You made it up with your own mind. It's a figment of your imagination. It's not there. You're hallucinating. Just step forward. Stop standing still.

Doesn't that feel crazy? To break through your own boundaries? Boundaries that society taught you to build.

But like I said. A little bit of crazy is a good thing.

I want you to find yourself. Somewhere inside you've locked that person behind bars, and you lost the key. I'm telling you to get it back, to go looking for it. Okay? Because I want you to set yourself free.

| NOTE: my own image / no stealing please- pinning is allowed |

Soul Language

"She is an open book, you just have to discover what language it is written in."

The things you don't like about yourself, the things that you do like about yourself, your bests and your worsts, the way you look when you've just woken up and your hair is in a mess, the clothes you wear, what you smile at, what you laugh at, what makes you cry, your favorite smells and your favorite memories, your safe place, your worst fear, who you give your heart to, the people you surround yourself with...these things are all apart of you. They are apart of your soul language. And everyone has a different language.

But some soul languages are more intricate and beautiful and deeper than others. Watch out for those people, the people who speak those languages. They will be the ones you never want to let go.

alone

So, if you lose it all, who are you going to turn to?

Who are you going to run to?

You think you're fine all by yourself, alone.
But you're wrong.

You need someone.

We all need someone.

your song

{Every bit of you is a wonderful, incredible piece to the puzzle of your happening. Your quirks, your flaws, your ups and your downs, the way you look, all of it.
And so, I want to see you be you.}

---

Look at her.

I listen to myself and glance at her.
Look how perfect she is.
It's true. Everything about her is so...perfect.
Why can't I be like her?


---

No. Stop thinking like that. Darling, comparison is the thief of joy. No one is perfect. Not even her.

But, that is not the point. We were not made to be perfect.

You. You can be yourself. You must be yourself. Because you do not know how lovely you are when you start being yourself.
 You are a gorgeous package - your quirks, your flaws, your ups and your downs, the way you look, all of it. God knew exactly what He was doing, when He made you. Every bit of you is a wonderful, incredible piece to the puzzle of your happening.
If no one ever hears it, how are we going to learn your song?
So put it on and turn it up, because I haven't heard that tune in a long while and my ears are craving that beautiful melody. Let everyone hear it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have nothing to hide.

that place

My breath swirls in white, pasty clouds whenever I blow out. The air is so cold and I can feel that my fingertips are stiff. A chilly breeze picks up a few strands of my dark brunette hair and then lets them drop again. My pale skin looks even paler than usual.

I used to mind being pale. But not out here. Here I blend in, because almost everything is white.

I can feel a racing thud in my chest. I breathe, in, out, in, out, gently, and my heart slows. Why it was beating so fast in the first place, I do not know.

Tiny snowflakes flutter to the ground. One lands on the tip of my nose and starts melting.

I am not that cold, then, if I can still cause snowflakes to melt. But it feels as though I have no warmth left.

I stare at the frozen lake that is a deep blue color, and wonder if it would the ice would be thick enough to hold me. I throw a rock onto the surface. It cracks and breaks with a shudder, leaving a hole in which the rock sinks.

Probably not.

I brush snow off my bare shoulders and off the top of my head. Most would call me crazy to come out here in only a white, sleeveless dress, but I don't care. It feels like tradition, because every time I come here, I wear the same thing.

 The dead log that I am sitting on is collecting small heaps of snow, on either side of me. The snowfall is getting thicker now, and soon I must go home. 

I do not mind going home so much. I know it is warm and cozy inside, and there will be hot chocolate to drink and books to read and a fire to sit by.

No, I wouldn't mind going home.

But I don't like to leave this place either.

"Hello," I call out, but only to hear the sound of my voice, because there is no sound out here except for the wind, and silence can sometimes be scary.

Time passes. I watch little brown birds come and drink from the hole I made in the lake. I want the birds to whistle or tweet, but they don't, and still, only the wind talks to me. I watch the bare-branched trees shake in a gust of wind.  I watch more snow fall from the vast, white sky.

Eventually I stand. I dust off my dress. I stomp a bit to get my blood flowing so that I am not so stiff and freezing.

I start to walk away.

Away from that place.

Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or even next Winter, I will come back.

Because I like that place. Even if I cannot explain why.

But for now, I am going home.

Have you ever had...a certain place that you loved? Somewhere you felt you could just be alone, and be you? Somewhere where your troubles did not follow you?

I have.

---

Hey. ♥ I wrote that mostly because I was sparked with the occasional, sudden urge to write.

I enjoyed writing this so much. Drawing and writing and painting are three of my happy places, but I have physical happy places, too. Before my family and I moved, we lived in a house that had a roof that was easy to climb on. And so, since eight or nine, I started climbing up there whenever I was sad, or when the world felt chaotic. I climbed up there and cleared my head, talked to God- and when I climbed down, I felt better.

I could never explain why that place, on top of that roof, brought me peace. But it did.

I'm not dead, actually...

...I'm just going through a very busy stage in my crazy life. (In which involves lots of daisies - it's Spring for South Africa - yay!)

OK. I love my life. It's amazing, and God has blessed me in so so many ways - I cannot even begin to count them all. I don't deserve it, any of it.
But part of life are the hectic stages, the 'I'm sure there are so many other things I should be doing, but I'm too busy with the rest of my life' to even think about it' stages. (Or, at least, I know I go through those stages).
Blogging ends up falling into the 'I'm too busy with the rest of my life to think about it' category, far too often. And then, posts that should be published aren't, blogs that should be designed aren't (I am so sorry to those on my waiting list! Uggghh!), pictures that should be taken aren't, comments that should be posted aren't, and so on.

It makes me feel claustrophobic, somehow. Like there's too much, too much and I just. Need. To. Get. Away! Not from blogging particularly, but also from the many, many trials, situations and all the little things that we all face in life. At night I stress and worry, and toss and turn about these things or those things that I must deal with.

But I'm wrong. I worry myself about things that I must deal with- when I am NOT alone. I'm not dealing with any of my problems alone. He is always there, with me, looking after me, loving me. He is there, and it's not only me who is thinking about my life.
The important part- is that He loves me, more than anyone else loves me. And the Bible says that perfect love drives out fear.
That's it. I have no need to feel fear. The anxiety? I can dispel that in the name of Jesus, because He loves me perfectly and deeply, so deeply.

Lately, the more I read God's word, the more I realize this: God wants to give us the gift of peace.
It's ours to take if we want to. We have to give it to Him, and say 'God, I trust you, and I want to feel your peace in me'.
For people like me, that's so hard to do. It's not trust issues. I do trust Him, because I know He is my savior.
The problem is accepting peace.
You see, I have to learn to understand that I cannot do anything without Him. That He is the only One who can guide me down the right path everyday. He holds everything in the palm of His hand, including me and my life. I need to understand that it's just that simple - that I can just give it to Him and go to sleep.

{VIA}

{VIA}

I'm the sort of person who always thinks there is something more to it, or that it's far more complicated than it looks. That nothing is ever really easy. But, the truth is, sometimes it is simple. And I can simply trust God with all my worries. I can put my cares in His hands.

And so, the reason I really wrote this post was to let my followers know that I can and I will get back to blogging. It turned into a post about something that has been on my mind for awhile.
I'll eventually stop neglecting my duties as a blogger- I'll eventually get back to it. Maybe not right away. But God has a plan for everything, and I trust Him in His timing. I trust Him with my life. After all - who else has died for me?

Ending this post, with peace in my heart-

Tane ♥

You and I (not a One Direction song)

OK, so, as you can see above, this post is not on a One Direction song. Though, surprisingly, I do like their song, 'You and I'...
Back to the point. I'm so sorry I've been absent of late, it has been busy-- but I never, ever, want to stop blogging, and I keep lagging. Lagging, like, falling behind in the blogging world, because, um, other things took up a few slightly empty spaces in my life, and then grew bigger until they were squeezing blogging out of it's own space.
I made a poem to apologize. :) (If it's a good enough apology?) Oh, and don't worry, a lot of people would think that I'm depressed when they read this poem, but I'm really, really, not. I was just letting my creativity wander about the place...sort of...well, I enjoyed myself, and I hope you enjoy this poem.

---

You and I

When you fall
you blame the person to your side
You set up walls
then ask me why I don’t step inside

I’m tired of
You
I don’t get
You
I don’t know
You
But yet
I can’t let go of you

You dress in black
you shout at those who clothe in white
Your hands are slack
you shout at those who take off the night

And I want to leave
You
I just don’t get
You
But you're like my shadow
And I just can't let go

Sometimes you can really shine
I start thinking it’s gonna be the start of a change
But after awhile it fades to grime
and then I’m left feeling indecisive and strange

Why rise so high
only to drop
Why go so far
only to stop

Oh, why start writing the story
when finished it will never be

Yes, you know
that I don’t get you
I may be a little slow
but it’s been so long
since I met you-
and I still don’t get you

The thing that worries me most
is that I am something I don’t want to be
Maybe I’m only holding on
only, only because you remind me of me

If you and I are the same
I guess we both take the blame
Both of us can clearly see
that we are who we shouldn’t be

It’s a perfect fit
because when I look in the mirror
what I see in it
is too hard for me to figure out
I don’t get it

The mist has finally cleared away
and I know today will be the day
I finally realize
I see who’s eyes
I’m looking into
and it’s not you
It’s me-
a perfect reflection
of me.

I don’t get

Me

I don’t know

Me

I want to leave

Me

But I can’t let go

I cannot let go

of me-

not while there is still

a chance.

I know

there is a chance.

Writing Challenge of July, 2014

So...guess who just hit seventy followers?

I thank each and every one of them. ♥♥♥ I'm thrilled. Although I used to have over 140 on my other blog...I'm still glad that I moved blogs. A lot of things worked when they hadn't before.

Now. I remember my promise. I said I'd create a writing challenge when I got to seventy followers, and so, here it is.

Anyone of any age can enter, I'd love it if everyone of my followers entered, but, sadly, I know that won't happen.

Here are the guidelines (there is no prize but glory and congratulations, sorry):

1. You can write anything, really; a chapter, a poem, a haiku, a short story, a song, even a quote (of your own, of course) if you like. A devotion is also acceptable.

2. All entries must be in before or on Wednesday the 30th of July, 2014. But after the 30th, I won't be taking anymore entries.

3. I'll announce the winner and the runner up (second place) on Thursday the 31st of June.

4. I'll be choosing the winner, which means, no random selection, and no poll.

5. Have fun. Be creative. Let your (as some people say) inner self flow. I hope that if you do enter, you enjoy writing for this challenge.

6. You are welcome to use a picture of your own or from Pinterest, as long as you give credit and link back.
8. To enter, post your link in a comment. (The link of the post that contains your entry, on your blog)

Oh, and, maybe you wouldn't mind putting the button below on your sidebar (if you're entering)? I would so love it if you did.

<div align="center">
<a href="http://tangerinetane.blogspot.com/2014/07/writing-challenge-of-july-2014.html" title="Fifth out of Ten Writing Challenge" target="_blank"><img src="http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab220/TangerineTane/fifthoutoftenwritingchallengebutton_zpsa1e9c505.jpg" alt="Fifth out of Ten Writing Challenge" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

You can also get the code from my sidebar.

Thank you so much for reading this. I can't wait to (hopefully) receive entries...

// EDIT //
The entries so far:

You Were There + by Jemma
Melody's Entry
Her Soul Was Alight + by Madeline
Bethan's Entry
Eve's Entry
Jollygirl's Entry
Azia's Entry
and
Ghostcaller's Entry

the real you

via

I look into your eyes, I can see your disguise. And I can tell, oh, oh, oh, you don’t want me to know. No, no, no…

You don’t want me to know, to ever know the real you. You don’t want to tell me, all you’ve been through. But I want you to know, you can share them with me, all of those secrets you keep, all those things that hurt badly, things that keep you from sleep.

You don’t feel worth the effort, of me listening to you, about all those things that hurt.
But what you don’t know, is that I do want to know. I want to know you. I promise you’re worth that, and so much more. You should tell your story, let it out and let it be.

I look into those eyes, and see that disguise. I know you put on your smile and tell yourself to hold on a while. But past all your braveness, you’re even more precious. 

Sometimes, when you let down your guard, I can see through the mask, and I see the broken sadness inside.

And I know how it is, I've been through pain too. But you don’t have to hide anymore, not from me, I want to know the real you.
Beautiful, real, you...

///

It might be poetry, because I did rhyme here and there, but it might not be. Let's call it a story. A story that happens all the time in the world, someone hiding their true self. Don't do it...we make mistakes, and we learn, and by the glory of God, we are forgiven. Let people know that you have also been damaged (even if it's albeit a little) in life, but you have been healed and loved by your Father in heaven. Let people know the real you, for who you are, who God has been forming you to be - and most of all, let them know that this is not it, this is not the finished product. God is working on you and with you.

We all still have a long way to go. Don't fake being someone else all the way.

 For me, it is the person I am through God that I want to show. That is who I want to be the real me.

And I encourage you to be the real you.

Warrior

via // another one I want to use for my photo challenge

Energy sweeps through her body
The wind runs through her golden hair
She stands on the hill for all to see
For all who want to look up and stare

Her sea green eyes are alight with a glow
Her pale skin looks white against the grey sky
She stands steady in the deep snow

She's different and only a few know why

And oh, it's the presence of a fiery soul
One that doesn't give up in this dark cold world
Oh, it's the presence of a warrior soul
She has been hurt, she has been whirled

In the crazy tornado called life

Yes she has been wrong, she has lied
But He saved her and now she's stronger than before

She is only for Him inside and outside

Since He picked her up off the cold hard floor

And I can tell you who she is
She is a warrior
She is living for him, she is His
 Alive for her savior

She's been through some hard times
But she decided she didn't want to let that get in her way
She's been through some bad times
But when she felt like giving up, she told herself to stay

And she's not going to stop
He is in her and will take their breath away
With her story as the backdrop
His love shouts from within her everyday

She is a warrior
Living for her savior
She has Him as her leader
And she is a warrior

///

a poem I wrote, about some people I know. I can see God's love shining through them, so this is dedicated to them.


^ that might have had something to do with inspiring me to write this as well. I found it on Pinterest.
{via}
oh, and, happy 4th of July to all my American friends.

You Have My Heart {a poem}

^ Photo credit goes to my sister, Grace.

You have my heart

You hold it in your hands
You have my future
And all of my plans
You are the only one there
To catch me when I fall
You are the only one there
To start me up again when I stall

And something tells me
I can trust you, I can trust in you
And maybe it's the way you see

You see that we're all beautiful

I can trust You
You wiped my tears when I cried
So it must be true
You said and You have never lied
I put my trust in You

You have my heart in your hands
And something tells me
You will take care
You will hold it gently

I know because
When I was alone
 I didn't know what to do
There was no one
But there was you.

God loves us so much...some days, mostly on the worst days, a ray of God's brilliant love breaks through the clouds of depression and loneliness, into your day. And because of the contrast those dark clouds create, His love shines even brighter than you imagined.
Sometimes, when I really believed that I was alone in this world, I found Him waiting to hold me in His arms.
He never leaves us alone.

This poem was about the moment when you realize, someone really does love you with all of their heart, someone does care for you in the most beautiful way.
And, guess what? That just happens to be the Creator of this whole universe.

she missed simplicity

{via}

Simple.

When was the last time her life had felt simple?
When had it gotten so complicated?

There had been chaos, there had been frustration, anger, fear sorrow, there had been magic moments, beautiful and perfect moments, and moments when she felt as though she could go no farther.

There had been those happy days where she'd spent her time walking and singing in the garden among the flowers and trees, or inside the house with a book in her hands, when her problems had not  felt so severe, even though they were still there.

But where was the simplicity? The same simplicity that had always around when she had been younger?

Gone.

And she missed it.

there is a creator // poem entry for Hannah's challenge

Image is my own.

do you see

the patterns on those leaves

and how softly

a newborn breathes

do you see

how gently the wind blows

and how strong

the ocean waves roll

do you see

the star that twinkles most

and the way

the bold moon glows

do you see 

those big oak trees swaying 

and do you see

those young ones playing

do you see

the light coming through the trees

or the darkness

where the shadows play and tease

do you see

her eyes close with sleep

and do you see

her lashes touch her cheek

because I see-
and I can bet,
there is indeed
a creator yet.

//

That...was a poem that I am entering in Hannah's challenge. Click HERE to read about it and visit her blog...she's a really lovely gal. You should enter, if you're up to it. ♥
So what did you think?
I hope you are having a lovely Wednesday, as I am.

P.S.: Why don't you go check out Friendship Through Faith? It's a blog I am busy designing - a blog by a friend of mine, Jemma. She's wonderful and so is her blog. Perhaps you'll follow? And, maybe, tell me what you think of the design? ♥