29 May 2017

Moses Bennett Joseph is IMPOSSIBLY CUTE

The days are flying by. Yesterday, my youngest brother was officially 3 weeks old. He's growing faster than I can blink, and this is a time that none of us are going to live through again, so I'm savoring him. Cherishing the feeling of his warm, snug, tiny body in my arms and the smell of his downy head.

And, of course, photographing him, so y'all can see this piece of proof that there is an almighty Creator.

Rosebud mouth. Little knuckles. Button nose. I wonder if it's tough being so perfect.

I wouldn't be able to help loving him even if I wanted to. It's like when he was born, an invisible needle and invisible thread stitched him into my heart, into my soul. Only God could be the one to invent a feeling such as that.

All of God's grace in one tiny face.

My parents having been wearing joy since he came home.

He's deep in thought here, obviously. Hmm, isn't this a good nap.

He's a marvel, a wonder that just grows more beautiful and more priceless with each day.

24 May 2017

Wednesday Words [4] - Somewhere, Someday

Baby, you’re surely going to get your heart broke again
By the tides of pain that recede and then come again
Who’s to say why we put ourselves in these situations?
This world is filled with unnecessary complications

Darling, you’re going to cry again
People use people for their own gain
I promise it’s just something that happens
And the road is bumpy even when you strap in

Honey, you’re going to have to learn again
You will see sun shining through the rain
Sometimes the hurt is a disguised blessing
Through the doubts and through the guessing

Go, go find yourself somewhere you don’t want to leave
Move, move on from here to find another story to weave
Bitterness, it only leaves your heart in a state to grieve
Forgive, even when forgiveness isn’t what you receive

Find yourself somewhere you want to stay
Make good memories to one day replay
Don’t stress it if there’s any kind of delay
You’re going to find that somewhere someday

written: 22/05/2017


A/N: I feel as if I'm at a bit of a conflict with this poem. Your thoughts on it are appreciated, as always. Do you agree with what I've written? Feel absolutely free to disagree. I'm not even sure if I concede with myself yet, if that makes any sense. Do you ever feel this way? Like you're waiting on that place, that somewhere?

The thing is, I am a strong believer in living in the current moment, and being happy and grateful where you are in life. But to contrast that, I also think that one should not give up praying, hoping and healing, or waiting for dreams to become reality in the future. They won't always become real, of course, and it definitely matters what kind of reality you're truly desiring- whether it is pleasing to God or not. But I anticipate that hope, lessons learned and perseverance will become strength when built upon day after day.

22 May 2017

Fifth out of Eleven???

I know what you might be thinking...something big must have happened for me to actually be posting again. The truth is that I really miss the blogging world with so much of my heart, I miss the community here, I miss sharing with you all and listening to you all and making more friends- but life refuses to be perfect (I know I've been over the whole perfect thing before, but bear with me) and I'm never going to be perfect and I think I'll just have to see where this goes. If I continue posting, or if I don't, or if I land up in the in between somewhere. I'll roll with it.

BUT. Right now, I have something I really do want to tell you all about. Or rather, someone. And this surely is big news.

His name is Moses, and he is beautiful.

My heart aches with love for this tiny being! So, yes. Something huge did happen. Look at his smile! I am proud to introduce my new baby brother to you all. Moses Bennett Joseph, born two months premature on the 8th of May (fun fact: that happened to be my twelve-year-old brother's birthday and Moses decided to gatecrash it) and weighing 2.1 kilograms with a full head of hair and ten siblings that already adore him. He came home from the hospital yesterday. 

People, God is so GOOD. He has answered our prayers, continues to answer them and is taking good care of Moses and my mom. 

I CANNOT explain the way I feel now, how my heart bursts with emotions that wrestle and tangle together and yet are all beautiful, but I'll try. Having a new little brother, someone so small, so innocent, so pure, so precious, so promising...it's incredible. I really am trying here, but it's hard. Hard to explain how it makes me feel and how joyful I am when I look at his face, when I kiss his head and smell the sweetness of baby. Hard to tell you just how phenomenal a thing it is for me when I hold him in my arms and slip my finger into his own mini fingers and feel them squeeze.

And I'm sorry, but there are no words that will do it justice, so I won't try. For now.

That being said...my blog name may need an update sooner or later, because there has been another (unforgettable) addition to our family. How does Fifth out of Eleven sound?

PS: Proper and professional photos of this miracle baby are coming soon.