{I Am} ~ Entry For Bethan's Challenge

{my pic}

The sand is warm between my toes, and I dig my feet in deeper, into the unbelievable softness of shells that have been crushed and ground up by the mighty sea. 

The ocean is blue, so blue...the white foam tumbles onto the shore and then slowly fades as it sinks back into the rolling waters.

The sun is shining, bright and hot. My back is heated from it's rays, and the warmth seeps into me, filling me. Now and then I try and look it in the face, but it is too bright, and instead I let it stare down at me, while I meekly look away.

 There are only a few clouds, white and puffy against the saturated, bold sky. They are beds for sky dolphins - or at least, in my imagination, they are.

A few kids kick around a soccer ball, racing, laughing, teasing. Others swim in the water, splashing at each other and screeching.

And I just sit. I sit on the white, shimmery sand and bury my feet in it.

But I am awake. I am alive. I am alert. I can hear everything, see everything, feel everything around me. My senses feel as though they are breathing, breathing in the world. I'm picking up everything that is going on around me...but I'm not.

I put a lock of hair behind my ear. I'm just a girl, a soul, a living thing, a human being.
And in one small moment,
everything is so simple.

I belong.

I'm alive.

I'm free.

I'm me.

My heart beats steady against my chest, as if it wants to be let out. I remember one of my favorite quotes; 'Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages.'

So it keeps on thumping.
The waves roar.
The sun burns.
The clouds drift.
The children play
I sit.

And just for a few minutes...

...all I do...
...is be.
I am.

~~~

{Quote credit to Clayton Steele}

So, what did you think of that? I'm entering it in Bethan's writing challenge.

Before I sign off, I have something to say...
I'm really sorry that I've barely been blogging, I've barely been answering comments, I've barely being designing blogs (to those on the waiting list, I am sorry, but I WILL get there, I will), and I've barely been alive in the blogging world.
Life gets hectically busy, and I freak out. I ask God all the time, 'How will I cope? How do I get it all done?'. But He has been so good, and He has guided me.
Anyway, hopefully, I'll be around a bit more often soon, people.
Thank you for reading. ♥

the winners of my July writing challenge are...

Thank you so much to those who entered my writing challenge! You're too kind. :) And all of the entries were lovely.

But...

The winner is...

Madeline with her entry, 'Her Soul was Alight'.

I found it so beautiful, and so true about a lot of people I know, people who encourage me and make me feel like my soul could be alight like theirs.

In second place, it's...

Eve with her entry, 'Ferris Wheel of Life'.

I really loved that, Eve. Your writing was wonderful, and I congratulate you.

Now, there are two other entries that I loved...I was sad that I was only supposed to choose too winners...but here's a shout out to two others:

Melody's entry,

and

Bethan's entry-

were both absolutely lovely.

Thanks, again, to everyone who entered. ♥

You and I (not a One Direction song)

OK, so, as you can see above, this post is not on a One Direction song. Though, surprisingly, I do like their song, 'You and I'...
Back to the point. I'm so sorry I've been absent of late, it has been busy-- but I never, ever, want to stop blogging, and I keep lagging. Lagging, like, falling behind in the blogging world, because, um, other things took up a few slightly empty spaces in my life, and then grew bigger until they were squeezing blogging out of it's own space.
I made a poem to apologize. :) (If it's a good enough apology?) Oh, and don't worry, a lot of people would think that I'm depressed when they read this poem, but I'm really, really, not. I was just letting my creativity wander about the place...sort of...well, I enjoyed myself, and I hope you enjoy this poem.

---

You and I

When you fall
you blame the person to your side
You set up walls
then ask me why I don’t step inside

I’m tired of
You
I don’t get
You
I don’t know
You
But yet
I can’t let go of you

You dress in black
you shout at those who clothe in white
Your hands are slack
you shout at those who take off the night

And I want to leave
You
I just don’t get
You
But you're like my shadow
And I just can't let go

Sometimes you can really shine
I start thinking it’s gonna be the start of a change
But after awhile it fades to grime
and then I’m left feeling indecisive and strange

Why rise so high
only to drop
Why go so far
only to stop

Oh, why start writing the story
when finished it will never be

Yes, you know
that I don’t get you
I may be a little slow
but it’s been so long
since I met you-
and I still don’t get you

The thing that worries me most
is that I am something I don’t want to be
Maybe I’m only holding on
only, only because you remind me of me

If you and I are the same
I guess we both take the blame
Both of us can clearly see
that we are who we shouldn’t be

It’s a perfect fit
because when I look in the mirror
what I see in it
is too hard for me to figure out
I don’t get it

The mist has finally cleared away
and I know today will be the day
I finally realize
I see who’s eyes
I’m looking into
and it’s not you
It’s me-
a perfect reflection
of me.

I don’t get

Me

I don’t know

Me

I want to leave

Me

But I can’t let go

I cannot let go

of me-

not while there is still

a chance.

I know

there is a chance.

The Sunshine Award (again)

image above was made by Bethan

This is the second time I'll be doing the Sunshine award...thank you so much to Sarah from Sarah Plain & Average, and to Eve from Eve of Womanhood.

The rules:
-Thank the person who nominated you.
-Answer the questions the person who nominated you asked.
-Nominate a few other bloggers.
-Write the same amount of questions for the bloggers you nominated.
-Notify the bloggers you nominated on their blog.
-Put the award button on your blog. (I'm gonna skip this last rule)

EVE'S QUESTIONS:

If you could live in a fictional land (like in a book or movie), which one would it be and why?
-Answer: OK, a lot of people use that question for their award question, and I'm always stubbed by it. So...I don't have an answer.
Favorite book?
-Answer: I'm afraid I can't choose between Divergent and The Hunger Games. In fact, there are so many wonderful novels/books (the literature world is big indeed) and I can't choose at all. I love them all...and let's not forget the Bible. It has so many captivating stories.

Do you believe in fairies? -says in Wendy's British acent- ;)
-Answer: This may disappoint a few, but no. Sorry, Tinker Bell.
What is your favorite food?
-Answer: All kinds! But I probably love chocolate, ice cream and pizza most. So very healthy, I know.
What time period do you think you would fit in most? Why?
-Answer: Right now, because pretty much, I love my life. (Most of the time.)
Biggest pet peeve?
-Answer: Washing dishes.
Are there any Fandoms that you're not crazy about?
-Answer: Yes, there is. Doctor Who is a fandom, I believe, and I am not crazy about it. And, let's see...some people say that they are in the fandom of Pride & Prejudice, which I am not, because I haven't read the books or watched the movies. Also, I'm not crazy about Lord of The Rings.
What is the weirdest dream you've ever had?
-Answer: (One) of the weirdest dreams I've had is weird because, even these days, I still wake up and think it's real even though I have only had it once. It goes like this...It was my fourth birthday party, and there was a huge ice cream cake. I couldn't finish my piece, so I put it in the freezer, for later. I woke up believing it. So I ran to the freezer to look for it, and it wasn't there. The problem was, it was so real.
I was four when I had that dream, and I still wake up thinking that it's real sometimes. And then it hits me. Don't laugh. About it having to come to me again every time, or about how strange and awkward I sound when I explain my dreams. Haha...
What is something you're going to miss about Summer?
-Answer: Well, where I live, it's Winter right now. But I can tell you what I am busy missing about Summer:
1. I can't swim anymore. The water is too cold...
2. The sunshine. It's a lot sunnier in Summer where I live - during Winter is rainy season.
3. The watermelon. I love watermelon.
4. The sound of the fan at night. (That sound lulls me to sleep, and we're not supposed to have it on in Winter)
5. Shorts. They are just so comfortable...
6. The holiday spirit because Christmas is just around the corner. (Yes, my Christmas is in Summer)
And, that is the end of the lovely Eve's questions. 

SARAH'S QUESTIONS:

What color are your eyes? What would your dream color be (if any)?
-Answer: Well...some people say that my eyes are green, and some say blue, but mostly grey. So, I have grey eyes. My dream color would probably be a deep, but quite dark, blue...like it says in the book Divergent by Victoria Roth, about Tobias's eyes: a dreaming, sleeping, waiting color.
How tall are you?
-Answer: Somewhere in the 5's. (Measuring in feet)
If you could be ONE fictional character, who would it be and why? (This applies to books and films)
-Answer: That's hard. I can't say.
Would you prefer a walk in the sunshine, or a stroll by the light of the moon?
-Answer: Me? I think I'd prefer a stroll by the light of the moon, but I do so enjoy sunny walks as well.
What would your dream profession be? (For example, if my life had taken a different path, I would have wished to become a professional ballerina.)
-Answer: To be honest, I love what I do. Don't have any other dream profession...but I'm finding new things out about myself all the time, so we'll see.
What is at the top of your To-Be-Read pile, or skyscraper?
-Answer: Hmm...there are a lot of books I'd like to read...but. I. Don't. Have. One. In. Particular. Can you believe that? I always have, and now I don't. Maybe Pride & Prejudice.
But please be a dear and suggest books to me in a comment below!
If you had a "pet" dragon, what color would he/she be? And what would his/her name be? Feel free to be creative.
-Answer: She would be blue, and I would call her Alaska. (The name Alaska from one of John Green's books "Looking For Alaska". I was inspired)
If you were to discover that you were the long-lost princess of a distant realm, what would be your first reaction?
-Answer: Disbelief.
What is your favorite book of the Bible? Favorite verse?
-Answer: Psalms has always been my favorite, because it's like poetry...nah, it is poetry. David was very artistic. I don't have a favorite verse. Maybe 'For God so loved the world' - that verse, because it's comforting to know that He sent Jesus for me. And everyone else. For everyone.

Do you have a dream car? If so, what is it?
-Answer: Definitely a cream colored mini cooper. I love those cars.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE PEOPLE I NOMINATE:

1. Do you believe in the phrase/saying: what doesn't break you makes you stronger?
2. Are you a chatty person? -Or- a quiet person who thinks a lot?
3. Do you like freckles, or not?
4. What food would you most like to eat right now? (You can choose anything, don't limit yourself to what is in the house.)
5. What song gets stuck in your head most?
6. Are you a collector, of anything?
7. Do you have a favorite actress? Who is she?
8. Are you left handed or right handed?
9. Tigers or lions?
10. Would you rather read a fictional novel or a historical novel?

THE PEOPLE I NOMINATE:

Lauren + from Pretty Things & Polka Dots
Jenny + from Artsy Peacock 
Madeline + from In The Wind
and
Cindy + from Eat. Sleep. Read. Fangirl.

Plus, the first person who comments: Ombre pancake.

inspirational photo challenge, entry two - the girl's cat

Hey! Guess what? I remembered. Yes, I remembered to continue with my photo challenge that I created. (see here to read about the challenge, if you haven't) Exciting, isn't it?
Today, my inspiration was this beautiful photo:

via

And...
Here is mine:

OK, so I know. It is not even close to as good as the photo above. It's really what they call a sad attempt. So sad...haha...maybe someday I'll be able to hire a blonde model, find some cute fluffy Tabby cat, get a blue and white (not grey and black) stripy shirt, and give it another shot.
But, hey, at least I attempted.
Our Siamese cat, Hartford, was not amused. In other words, I'm sure she wanted to kill me. And my sister, Grace (the model) didn't want to do it either. But in the end, I did manage to get something. 

I would call the photo itself a fail, but I'm happy that at least I got my act together, and did it.
Don't worry, next week will be better, I'm sure.

Your thoughts?

Writing Challenge of July, 2014

So...guess who just hit seventy followers?

I thank each and every one of them. ♥♥♥ I'm thrilled. Although I used to have over 140 on my other blog...I'm still glad that I moved blogs. A lot of things worked when they hadn't before.

Now. I remember my promise. I said I'd create a writing challenge when I got to seventy followers, and so, here it is.

Anyone of any age can enter, I'd love it if everyone of my followers entered, but, sadly, I know that won't happen.

Here are the guidelines (there is no prize but glory and congratulations, sorry):

1. You can write anything, really; a chapter, a poem, a haiku, a short story, a song, even a quote (of your own, of course) if you like. A devotion is also acceptable.

2. All entries must be in before or on Wednesday the 30th of July, 2014. But after the 30th, I won't be taking anymore entries.

3. I'll announce the winner and the runner up (second place) on Thursday the 31st of June.

4. I'll be choosing the winner, which means, no random selection, and no poll.

5. Have fun. Be creative. Let your (as some people say) inner self flow. I hope that if you do enter, you enjoy writing for this challenge.

6. You are welcome to use a picture of your own or from Pinterest, as long as you give credit and link back.
8. To enter, post your link in a comment. (The link of the post that contains your entry, on your blog)

Oh, and, maybe you wouldn't mind putting the button below on your sidebar (if you're entering)? I would so love it if you did.

<div align="center">
<a href="http://tangerinetane.blogspot.com/2014/07/writing-challenge-of-july-2014.html" title="Fifth out of Ten Writing Challenge" target="_blank"><img src="http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab220/TangerineTane/fifthoutoftenwritingchallengebutton_zpsa1e9c505.jpg" alt="Fifth out of Ten Writing Challenge" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

You can also get the code from my sidebar.

Thank you so much for reading this. I can't wait to (hopefully) receive entries...

// EDIT //
The entries so far:

You Were There + by Jemma
Melody's Entry
Her Soul Was Alight + by Madeline
Bethan's Entry
Eve's Entry
Jollygirl's Entry
Azia's Entry
and
Ghostcaller's Entry

the real you

via

I look into your eyes, I can see your disguise. And I can tell, oh, oh, oh, you don’t want me to know. No, no, no…

You don’t want me to know, to ever know the real you. You don’t want to tell me, all you’ve been through. But I want you to know, you can share them with me, all of those secrets you keep, all those things that hurt badly, things that keep you from sleep.

You don’t feel worth the effort, of me listening to you, about all those things that hurt.
But what you don’t know, is that I do want to know. I want to know you. I promise you’re worth that, and so much more. You should tell your story, let it out and let it be.

I look into those eyes, and see that disguise. I know you put on your smile and tell yourself to hold on a while. But past all your braveness, you’re even more precious. 

Sometimes, when you let down your guard, I can see through the mask, and I see the broken sadness inside.

And I know how it is, I've been through pain too. But you don’t have to hide anymore, not from me, I want to know the real you.
Beautiful, real, you...

///

It might be poetry, because I did rhyme here and there, but it might not be. Let's call it a story. A story that happens all the time in the world, someone hiding their true self. Don't do it...we make mistakes, and we learn, and by the glory of God, we are forgiven. Let people know that you have also been damaged (even if it's albeit a little) in life, but you have been healed and loved by your Father in heaven. Let people know the real you, for who you are, who God has been forming you to be - and most of all, let them know that this is not it, this is not the finished product. God is working on you and with you.

We all still have a long way to go. Don't fake being someone else all the way.

 For me, it is the person I am through God that I want to show. That is who I want to be the real me.

And I encourage you to be the real you.

Warrior

via // another one I want to use for my photo challenge

Energy sweeps through her body
The wind runs through her golden hair
She stands on the hill for all to see
For all who want to look up and stare

Her sea green eyes are alight with a glow
Her pale skin looks white against the grey sky
She stands steady in the deep snow

She's different and only a few know why

And oh, it's the presence of a fiery soul
One that doesn't give up in this dark cold world
Oh, it's the presence of a warrior soul
She has been hurt, she has been whirled

In the crazy tornado called life

Yes she has been wrong, she has lied
But He saved her and now she's stronger than before

She is only for Him inside and outside

Since He picked her up off the cold hard floor

And I can tell you who she is
She is a warrior
She is living for him, she is His
 Alive for her savior

She's been through some hard times
But she decided she didn't want to let that get in her way
She's been through some bad times
But when she felt like giving up, she told herself to stay

And she's not going to stop
He is in her and will take their breath away
With her story as the backdrop
His love shouts from within her everyday

She is a warrior
Living for her savior
She has Him as her leader
And she is a warrior

///

a poem I wrote, about some people I know. I can see God's love shining through them, so this is dedicated to them.


^ that might have had something to do with inspiring me to write this as well. I found it on Pinterest.
{via}
oh, and, happy 4th of July to all my American friends.

Update on My Artwork

Hi. ♥ So, I've realized that I have barely posted any patterns, illustrations or digital artworks of mine on my blog. Okay, turn that barely into a never.
The reason why I haven't started designing quite a few blogs (sorry, guys! will get busy designing them as soon as possible), is because I also have to upload my artwork on other websites, not to mention format them as products (iPhone & Samsung Galaxy cases, pillows, tote bags, stickers, etc). I really spend a lot of time on the internet. But not all of it goes to blogging...here's what I've been doing in the time that I'm on the computer, but not on Blogger.

   

Pineapple pop art patterns, two color versions.

   

Mandala flowers...or...I actually don't know what they're called. But, out of these two, which colorway do you prefer? I like the left colorway, royal blue, teal, mint & purple. But the colors on the right, hot pink, turquoise & teal, are refreshing, and bright springy colors.

   

To the left, a simple daisy pattern - and to the right, a pattern I had a lot of fun with; unicorn and rainbow pattern. :)

   

Chevron designs.

   

Yes, even a little TFIOS fan art. (Both quotes from the book, "The Fault In our Stars" ★★★

To finish off, a blue paisley heart. ♥

Now you know what I've been doing in my spare computer time. ;) I love doing what I do, so much...

Do you have a favorite? I'd love to know which artwork you enjoyed most.

Note: all artworks belong to me, and were created by me. Please don't use without asking, or steal-- I'm not saying you would want to, just asking you to respect rights. ☺

Challenging myself to take more photos...

I've realized that I have not been posting a lot of photos lately, or, not my own photos. And I was looking at two of my boards on Pinterest today, (here, and here), admiring the amazing ideas and photography, when I decided what I'd challenge myself to do...

...here's an example.

On my Beautiful Inspiration board, I had pinned this:

My thoughts when I see pictures like this and others similar, are: Oh my goodness, so beautiful, wish I could take pics like that.
Then it occurred to me, and don't laugh because it took awhile (I can be so slow). I can take pics like that (or similar). So, I have challenged myself to do a blog post with every week with a picture I was inspired by (from Pinterest) and a picture that I take, my own pic.
For this week, the inspiration is the pic above. Here, below, is the inspired pic, my own pic.

So...what do you think? Those birds swoop around our house often, and make spirals in the air, working together. They are amazing.
The mountains in the background are called the Hottentots Hollands here in Somerset-West, South Africa, and are a part of our view. I took this picture this morning, on our veranda, with my iPhone 4S. Then, I sent it to myself, and edited it in Photoshop CS2. 

Here is the pic that has only been edited by my iPhone:

It was a lot of fun, arranging this challenge for myself. It's going to be even more fun, going through with it. I'll take inspirational photos from my board, and try and shoot one similar, but with my own photographer skills. I don't think I'll push myself to get it 'exactly' the same, just try and make it similar. 

Wish me luck, and remind me to get it done every week! I think I'll call it my Inspirational Photo Challenge, so, if you're interested to follow me as I do it, just look for the post titles that say something like that.

P.S. I don't know how long I will be doing this for...I might stop abruptly, and then continue after awhile...I just want to try it, and so I will. ♥♥♥