take a deep breath

I've had one of those days where I'm running all day, but never getting anywhere. It's immensely frustrating, because I can feel my feet hitting the ground, the perspiration on my forehead, and my limbs aching. But I'm not covering any distance. I end up with clenched fists and gritted teeth. A headache and a flared temper. A sharp, fiery tongue and an empty feeling inside. I have to be careful and painfully controlled not to take my state out on someone else. Which only worsens the situation. Not to mention that I don't even manage to accomplish that very often.

Bottling it up only makes me feel ready to explode.

And I think, on days like the one I've just had, it does not help to trap it all inside. You have to let it out. Breath in, and exhale. Stand steady and say, God, I haven't got this. I'm not okay. I'm barely holding on. I'm not unwavering or mighty or holy like you are, and that is why I need You in me. Replace the overpowering waves that are drowning me with Your perfect peace and comfort.

Psalm 55:22 - Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

Matthew 11:28-29 - Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Isaiah 40:29-31 - He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint.

I am heavy laden. I want rest for my soul through Him. I want to learn from my God. And He has offered me all that. As a gift, a priceless gift that is undeserved.
Lord, I am so, so small. And You are so big. I am safe in your hold, and that is where I will always want to be. I will always come running back to you. Teach me how to be like You. Avert my concentration to heavenly things, to You. Show me how much bigger You are than my problems.

Jesus, I need you. I always will.

So I'll take a deep breath. With my God's strength always supporting me, I will run and not be weary. I shall mount up with wings like an eagle. And I will soar.