living through wars

"I fell apart so many times.

So.

What does that say about me

besides

I live through

wars."

In life, bad things happen. Conflict, accidents, miscommunication, hate, war. People hurt other people, people hurt themselves. Wherever you go and wherever you are, mental and physical crippling occur. All these things happen in the world around us, a lot of it may even happens to us.

There's no running away from it all, no closing your eyes and hoping it will have disappeared when you open them.

You have to get through it. Through the trenches, through the wildfire of gunshots, through enemy territory. And you keep going.

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it."

Bravery is not a lack of fear. Bravery is when you beat fear.

So, be brave. And don't forget that it helps to focus on good things when it feels like the world is collapsing. Because the truth is, we do live in a world that is falling apart. But that doesn't mean you should forget all the blessings and good things that still exist.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things.

This is something I've been learning. Something God has been teaching me...and I wanted to share it with you. So, I hope that you were inspired.

take a deep breath

I've had one of those days where I'm running all day, but never getting anywhere. It's immensely frustrating, because I can feel my feet hitting the ground, the perspiration on my forehead, and my limbs aching. But I'm not covering any distance. I end up with clenched fists and gritted teeth. A headache and a flared temper. A sharp, fiery tongue and an empty feeling inside. I have to be careful and painfully controlled not to take my state out on someone else. Which only worsens the situation. Not to mention that I don't even manage to accomplish that very often.

Bottling it up only makes me feel ready to explode.

And I think, on days like the one I've just had, it does not help to trap it all inside. You have to let it out. Breath in, and exhale. Stand steady and say, God, I haven't got this. I'm not okay. I'm barely holding on. I'm not unwavering or mighty or holy like you are, and that is why I need You in me. Replace the overpowering waves that are drowning me with Your perfect peace and comfort.

Psalm 55:22 - Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

Matthew 11:28-29 - Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Isaiah 40:29-31 - He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint.

I am heavy laden. I want rest for my soul through Him. I want to learn from my God. And He has offered me all that. As a gift, a priceless gift that is undeserved.
Lord, I am so, so small. And You are so big. I am safe in your hold, and that is where I will always want to be. I will always come running back to you. Teach me how to be like You. Avert my concentration to heavenly things, to You. Show me how much bigger You are than my problems.

Jesus, I need you. I always will.

So I'll take a deep breath. With my God's strength always supporting me, I will run and not be weary. I shall mount up with wings like an eagle. And I will soar.

infinite tenderness

i will always,

a l w a y s, 

have an 

i n f i n i t e 

tenderness 

for you, 

d e e p

in my heart 

look, my darling,

look to the 

s t a r r y

sky,

as long as the moon

is up high,

and the world is still

s p i n n i n g

i will always,

a l w a y s,

think of you

with a beautiful

s o f t n e s s,

that can only be

everlasting

l o v e.

May days

This is going to be one of those typical 'lately' posts. To bring me back to reality from my dreaming world where I think up poetry and cloudy pep talk blog posts (My adding 'cloudy' there doesn't mean you shouldn't take them any less seriously. OK?). And to let you know- well, about small inconsequential things that fill in the spaces between the consequential things during my average day. Which doesn't mean I won't mention anything consequential...okay, I'm rambling. But those who know me well know that I'm great at that. 

I'll try and refrain from being corny, cheesy, or cliché. (But c'mon. Everybody loves cliché)  

---

+ walking around the house in socks (Winter is fast approaching)

+ watching old movies (Pretty Woman; a new favourite of mine)

+ cooking with my dad, now and then (I only recently found out. He knows how to cook? And pretty well, too?)

+ loving going to my youth group

+ appreciating hot tea and this good book I'm reading, 'The Forever Girl', by Alexander McCall 

+ practicing my interior designer skills in my room

+ beach trips

+ loving my friend's blog, 'For me to live is Christ and to die, is gain' (People. She writes so beautifully)

+ and my other friend's blog, 'silent fleeting moments' (Anine, your talent is just...wow)

+ listening to Ben Howard, OneRepublic, and Coldplay ('A Sky Full of Stars' by Coldplay is magical)

+ realizing that there is only one reason why I'm living and why I want to be alive. God. He carries me through all storms, He never leaves me to fend for myself and when I have nothing, I have everything, because I have Him

+ starting a drawing journal as a project in my art class (This is right up my street, guys)

+ beautiful skies

 

+ finding fresh joy in photography and in my fluffy, cozy, pullover, electric blue jersey (Really electric)

+ going for my first ever facial (If you've ever been for a facial...did you enjoy it?)

+ adoring my little brother's facial expressions and willingness to take selfies (Oh. And my other pullover knit jersey, as displayed in the following photo)

+ loving you for having read all this

I want to live.

And she let herself live dangerously,

Let herself live brilliantly and wildly,

She'd dance in the storm and with fire she'd play,

With that stubborn, erratic heart that doesn't sway,

In the wind her damaged wings still flying,

They tried to change her, they're still trying,

But she holds what she believes close to her chest,

Eyes that captivate, never looking back, only ahead,

'For,' she said, 'If I never take the risk,

If I don't fight the wars

and open locked doors

and give what I have to give

I might never learn how to live.

And I want to live.'

/ / /