that is what comes with change

{VIA} (image not my own - found it on Pinterest...isn't it beautiful? I love the atmosphere. So inspiring)

you ask why she's like that

why sometimes when she smiles-

her eyes are sad.

well, the story is something you may not buy

but it is a story that needs to be told

so I will tell you why.

There came a time in her life, when gone was the girl who smiled so bright- the girl who fell asleep easily at night. The girl who didn't always have to dry her eyes, the girl who didn't always wear a fake disguise. The girl who danced all the time and sang loud, the girl who's sky wasn't darkened by a heavy cloud.

That girl was no more for awhile, because in her place came a girl who did not smile.
A girl who always lied and said she was alright, not knowing why she didn't want anyone to know the truth. A girl who had turned her back on the world because of change, a girl who was not fulled with sweet youth. A girl who always had to dry her eyes, and made sure to put on a fake disguise- because even though people could already see her sorrow, she knew for sure it was much worse inside.
And eventually the first girl came back, and claimed what she had left behind, her heart. But still the other girl was always somewhere around, and in the first girl's new world, she always took some part.
Nothing about her was ever the same. But that is what comes with change.

and that, that is the reason why,

you sometimes see her smile with sad eyes.

let me tell you, though,

even though things did not go her way

she is okay.

she will be okay.

///

Change can be for the better or the worse. This post was about change for the worse. It happens. It will always happen until we go home to our Jesus, and then we will live in a perfect infinity.

I'm working on a post about change for the better, but it will take quite a while, life is busy. 

I love writing and I hope you enjoyed reading this. ♥♥♥

PS: I will not be active here for...like...a month. My family and I are moving out of our rented house to a new house (yay! a house that is actually ours), and it's going to get a lot busier very soon. So I send apologies in advance, I will be quite absent for a while.

dandelion

{VIA}

a s m i l e was on her face

as she picked the d a n d e l i o n

s o m e h ow dandelions always made her smile

and even though there were w o r r i e s 

in the f u t u r e that belonged to her

she c h o s e to smile

because as she blew s o f t l y on that dandelion

she k n e w that it would all be fine

and s o m e h o w

that d a n d e l i o n

that she held b e t w e e n her fingers
managed to give her h o p e

to c a r r y on.

there are meanings in little things. I see dandelions as a signal of hope.

try and see them too

image my own

when you look in the mirror
when you judge yourself for everything you do,
and you don't like it,
you don't like you-
the problem is that

you have been focusing

on all the bad things about yourself

for so long 

that you've forgotten

how to see

all the good things about yourself.

and let me tell you, dear-

there are so many good things

about you.
try and see them too.

{this post was inspired by a quote found on Pinterest: if I could give you one thing, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, so that you can finally see how beautiful you are.}

words on wednesday

words. they're amazing. they describe, they label, they are put together to make lyrics and poems. they dance in the minds of the people who like to play with them, they wander not knowing which one will be chosen and spoken in the minds of the unsure or sad. there are words that have been hurried out and not chosen well by someone who is scared or hurt or angry. they're used to talk about feelings in the mouths of all people.
and every word means something.
there's a quote about words that I like:

Words are like X-Rays. If you use them right, they can pierce right through you.

that's true. they can pierce through you and full you with something new, something good. but sometimes they can pierce through you and leave you feeling empty or heart broken.
we have to be careful how we use words.

and here are some wonderful ones. kick back and relax if you're planning to read on, because this will be quite a long post.

I'm sure we've all encountered a selcouth or two somewhere along the path of the life we've lived so far.

I have a smultronställe. do you? :) I've actually always wondered what this was called. now my curiosity on that matter is tamed. {fun-fact: don't know how to make an A with two dots above using the keyboard? alt 0228. try it and it will make that A for you. (hold down alt till you've typed all of those numbers, then let go)}

I love adoxography. tip: people seem to like adoxography posts {saying this because I do}, so, if you don't know what to post, maybe you should go for that.

that wonderful smell...

had a bad case of clinomania yesterday morning.

♥♥♥

can't tell you how many times I've felt this. didn't know the word for it till now.

I clearly have a logolepsy.

kalon...the beauty inside.

ever felt some tarantism?

I made the images myself, the words I found on Pinterest.

I hope you've enjoyed learning these new words. they are all selcouth.

have a lovely Wednesday. ♥

Sunshine Award

this is my sunshine award image that I just felt like making (image my own). feel free to use it if you're nominated

this is the sunshine award image I got off Brooke's blog 

The lovely Brooke nominated me on her lovely blog for the Sunshine Award...thank you so much, Brooke!
First thing first, the rules:
→Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
→Answer the questions they asked you.
→Nominate other bloggers.
→Give them a list of questions.
→Let them know that they have been nominated.
→The Sunshine Award button must be on your blog post.

Brooke's questions:
Who do you most admire in life? Uh...I admire Jesus the most. He works in mysterious, wonderful ways in my life and I admire Him extremely for not only that...I mean, c'mon, He died for me.
If you could do one thing your whole life what would you do? I would probably like to write poetry. (valid answer?)
If you were a chair, who would you let sit on you? OK, then. Now that's a question you aren't asked everyday. Well, I guess I wouldn't mind letting my little brother sit on me. He does all the time anyway.
If you could listen to one song your whole life, what would it be? I like this question. :) It would either be "Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift or (this song is going to be one you probably haven't heard of, but I love it) "Sugar Beauty" by Amber Hunter...click HERE to listen to Sugar Beauty. I'm sure you'll love it.
What is something no one really knows about you? Another tough one. Hmm...most people don't really know that I'm actually not so shy? I'm just quite quiet often.
Are you an obsessed fan [of anything] or dedicated? Well, let's see. I'm a swiftie, I love marvel, (especially concerning Ironman, Captain America, or Spiderman), I'm a big fan of the Divergent trilogy and can't wait for the movie. That's more than one thing, sorry. But there is more. Nah, won't bother you with it.
If you had to be locked in a room with one person for 24 hours, who would it be? Hmm...one of my sisters, maybe...I dunno - that's the third tough question I've stumbled across in these series of questions. ;)
Who would you like to accidentally call you? OK. You got me...because this is the first question I can't answer. Not that I don't want to...just...can't find the right answer.
Are you a night owl or an early bird? Night owl.
If you had one wish, what would you wish for? [besides more wishes!] I think I'd wish that all people were blind to looks, and the thing that mattered in our society today was not beauty, but personality. It would take a lot of stress off a lot of people, including me.
I think I'd wish for that. But it's pretty hard to rack your brain for what you truly, really would want above all.

So, that's Brooke's questions done. These are my questions:
→If you had to choose one smell to be the only smell you smelt for the rest of your life, what smell would it be? [that was a bit of a weird question, but try saying it five times fast. OK. guess it's not that hard...]
→What's your favorite quote? [stolen question]
→What blog do you find the most inspiring out of the blogs you visit? [it would be nice if you linked to it]
→What is a life dream of yours?
→How old were you when you started your blog?
→Would you prefer a trip to the beach for the day or an overnight camping trip?
→Choose one place you'd like to visit above all other places in the world. [doesn't have to be a country, it can be a particular place, or a shop even, if you like] What is it?
→Do you prefer asking questions or answering questions?
→Strawberry pattern or watermelon pattern?
→Fiction or non-fiction?
→Which question out of all the ones I've asked did you enjoy the most?

Done!
No, wait, I have to appoint my nominees. ♥
Rachelle: at Beloved Bluebird [cos - I love your blog girl]
Rose: at Truly. Madly. Deeply. [both the author and the blog from Truly. Madly. Deeply. are amazing. Rose is a helpful, fantastic girl]
Aaliyah at Growing In His Image [you're so lovely, Aaliyah]

and...as Brooke said on her blog...anyone else who wants to do this award.
Thanks for reading this. ♥♥♥

PS: I asked my readers if I should continue doing awards. Most of them said that they liked awards, because they got to know more about other bloggers. So I've decided to do some awards, just when I feel like it and I've got nothing else to post, you know? Hope you learnt more about me in this post, and that it wasn't way to long and boring... xxx

to see the stars

typography design by me - quote found on Pinterest.

and when life gets dark...hold on, because pretty soon, the first star is going to come out, and then another will follow it, and another, until the whole sky sparkles and twinkles with starlight streaks. who knows, maybe some of their shine will rub off on you, shine that you can keep till daylight comes, and even longer then that, because maybe you'll keep that shine forever.

first blog design underway

Hey, everyone. Thank you for praying for my little brother...you're all amazing. You know, in the end, I got like, twenty-four comments, not including my replies. Thanks so much. That was great.
And, now...the news I want to spread...
I am busy designing someone else's blog for the first time. Take a look at Nyah's blog, Faith Girl and you'll see I'm in the process of giving her blog a makeover. It would be so lovely if you followed as well. She's new to blogging, and she has a really nice blog. ♥ We would both love it if you went and checked it out.
Plus, I'm really looking forward to working with Kelly-Anne on her blog. It's gonna be fun. :)
I'm so glad and grateful that I can do things like this online, God has really blessed me.
And...to make this post not such a waste, here's a little bit of pinspiration:

It does. So get up every morning, and have courage. {image via Pinterest. NOT my own}

Have a wonderful Wednesday. (or, if you're South African, have a wonderful Wednesday night)

emergency prayer request

Hey. Please will you read this. And please. Pray.
My little brother just fell of his bike, and there was blood everywhere. And all I saw before my mom took him to the hospital with my older brother is a deep gash in the middle of his forehead...it's very terrible.
I would really appreciate it if you did pray. Because I'm very worried.

{EDIT}

Hi, everyone. Thank you SO much to all who prayed. Those prayers meant SO much. And now my little brother is home...

He is fine, but he will have a big scar, I think. Anyway, he had to have a lot of stitches, done by a plastic surgeon. But he is fine.
All I can say is thank you for your prayers.
Also, thank you to Jesus, because it could have been way worse, and I know He was with us.

when I'm sad

^ a picture I took of some very pretty pink flowers. bright colors make me feel happier when I'm sad.

Hi. I...um...wrote something. I just had to. I am not very happy at the moment. Life is not going very well. And writing is my comforter. I'd love it if you prayed for me, though. 

Here's the writing piece that is full of wrongly phrased sentences and randomness. Hope you enjoy it, and maybe find it worth reading in the end.

When I’m sad, not just the sad type of sad, but the deep, aching type of sad, I try to focus on the good, happy things that have happened, that still will happen. The days where the sunshine was hot, the skies were blue and a cool breeze lifted my hair. The rainy days where inside the house was warm, when I sipped tea as I watched the raindrops gathering on the window. The days when we were all together, and everywhere I went I heard someone I loved laughing.  The days when new things were learned and the days were we had silly talks and we ended up on the floor laughing so hard it hurt. The people who talked to me like I was important, the people who held my gaze with sparkling eyes knowing we were thinking the same thing. The ocean waves that I sat on the warm sand and watched; wild, free, and beautiful. The stories that were told around a fire, underneath a sky that sparkled with starlight. The walks through long golden grass that had droplets of dew on their tips to an orchard that dripped with gorgeous sunrise light streams. The road trips with music playing loud and beautiful scenery passing by so fast, so fast. The sunsets that gave the world a majestic touch, as we played on the veranda and laughed at each other. The photos we took of our silly faces together that meant nothing but meant so much. The imaginary games that were played at that house when we were young – that house that was home, that house were we crept onto the roof while our older siblings weren’t watching and lay on our backs in the sunlight. The cottage that was covered in ivy and roses and grapes, the cottage that holds so many of my childhood memories. The dancing underneath the fruit trees. The swinging down from trees. The times when I was afraid and upset and sad, when He held me and I was okay again. The times when I fell asleep in a warm bed, and slipped into the dream world I still hold so dearly.

Those are the things that comfort me when I am sad. Things I’ve decided to love, and things I couldn't help but love.

"It is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all."

"These times are hard, but they will pass."

This was not well written. This was not planned. This is full of writing mistakes and so on. But this is what poured out of me today…and thank you for reading.

The Sunflower Blogger Award

Hey. :) It's just me. The person who hasn't really been delivering such good posts lately. Sorry...
Before I get started on this tag that the lovely Claire nominated me with- I have a question.
As my reader(s), do you like it when I do a tag/award post? Or should I just stop doing them completely, and focus more on my writing? I'd love to know your opinion.

So, The Sunflower tag. ♥ Thank you, Claire.

Rules:

1). Share 11 facts about yourself

2). Answer the questions set by your nominated blogger

3). Nominate your bloggers

4). Set seven questions for the nominated bloggers

~

11 facts about me:

1). I have a very sweet, friendly, energetic cockatiel named Popcorn. But he bites everyone, except for me. He makes me feel special...yay...

2). I love reading poetry.

3). If I ever publish a book, I want it to be a poetry book.

4). I like skinny jeans better than boot leg jeans or any other types.

5). I hate wearing shoes. But sometimes it's a necessity. So. Poor me.

6). I love drawing eyes.

7). Red hair is awesome, but I think that if I were ever to dye my hair, I would want to die it a dark chocolate brunette.

8). Have I ever told you guys how much I love sweet things?

9). Whenever I have dreams, they are usually extremely weird.

10). I don't like the way I look when I smile.

11). I am very happy that you've read this far.

My answers to Claire's questions:

Q: Favorite genre of music?

A: Oh, I don't know. Taylor Swift's Fearless CD is my favorite CD ever...and what genre is it? Country? So, I guess country.

Q: Writing or drawing?
A: So hard to choose!! But I think it would be writing.
Q: Favorite actor?

A: Robert Downey Jr. You can't blame me for choosing him.

Q: Thoughts on Jennifer Lawrence?

A: I like her confident attitude. And she can be funny. Funny is good.
Q: Do you play a sport?
A: Nope. I used to play tennis, but that's in the past. Sound quite lazy, don't I?

Q: Do you prefer sneakers or boots?
A: For me, it kind of depends on what sneakers or what boots...

Q: What do you enjoy most about blogging?
A: Interacting with the other bloggers, getting to know them.

I nominate:

Rachel

Bekah Jone

Khloe Grace

Melody

Morning

Abbey Noelle

If you're on the list, please do not feel pressured to do the award. You absolutely don't have to.

My questions for the nominated:

Is your hair curly/straight/wavy?

Do you have a favorite singer?

Do you like painting your nails or not?

What do you think is your best quality? (in personality)

Do you prefer to read or listen to music?

Have you ever visited another country?

Do you prefer barefoot or shoes?

Phew... Giving questions is always the hardest part for me.

Thanks for reading. And to the people I nominated- hope you have fun, if you choose to do the award. Thanks again, Claire!

who are you?

picture of me taken by the lovely Grace and edited by me

who are you,
really?

you are not a name
or a height or a weight,
or a gender
you are not an age
and you are not where you
are from

you are your favorite books
and the songs stuck in your head
you are your thoughts
and what you eat for breakfast
on saturday mornings

you are a thousand things
but everyone chooses
to see the million things
you are not

you are not
where you are from
you are
where you're going
and I'd like
to go there
too

-quote by m.k.