Listen for His voice, He's calling

6:30 a.m. The alarm on my phone goes off. Get up, it urges. I sit up, rub my eyes, swing my legs over the side of the bed, and stand up to trudge sleepily into the bathroom. I undress, turn the taps on and get into the shower. My brain is still groggy and my thoughts thick. I’m not really a morning person. I sift through the messiness of my mind as the water runs down my back: song lyrics, quotes, verses, faces, names, ideas, memories, what time I went to bed last night, the dream I had, what I did yesterday, what I’m going to do today. I sort everything so that I’m mentally fresh and ready for the day. Another day. More decisions and choices to make, and chances to take or not to take.

I forget. I forget, in my organizing and fixing and mental notes and to-do lists. In my plans, my hopes, my fears.

I forget to listen.
I dress, go to the kitchen, eat breakfast. I start my day. I travel on, through another 24 hours. Everything goes fairly well. I don’t accomplish all that I set out to do, but most of it. I go to bed. I should feel satisfied. Yet I don’t. Something is missing. There is a hollowness inside of me. An emptiness.
But wait. Just wait. Click pause, and let’s rewind to the start. 6:30 a.m. The alarm goes off. I wake up, I sit up. I grab the bible from the bedside table, I open it, I flip through the pages, and I read. As I become fully awake, I absorb the words I read, I devour them. Man does not live on bread alone… I fill my heart and mind with them. And then I pray, I commit the day to my God and I ask Him to guide me, lead me, teach me. I offer myself and ask that I become a living sacrifice, a sweet aroma to the Lord. I seek His will, wanting to know what He wants me to do, in every situation and with every little thing. I listen.  How do you want me to live, God? I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I center my thoughts around my purpose as the water runs down my back. I have a purpose. To live for Him. I have a purpose, and the joy is more overwhelming and powerful than the emptiness ever was.
Do you know what I sometimes wonder? I wonder about the people that don’t know Jesus. My heart aches for them. How do they make it to the end of each day without Him? How do they live, how do they make sense of life, how do they go on? They starve without knowing what they’re starving for. They mess up a lot, just like I do, just like all Christians do, just like everyone does, like humans do, but the difference is that they don’t know He’s there to help them through it. They suffer.

To those who believe that Jesus is our salvation: Don’t pass on what is yours to have, every day, within easy reach, when it is lost to thousands all over the world. Don’t miss out on a beautiful relationship of depth with God. His guiding voice. His love. Listen to what He tells you. And wherever you can, whenever you can, share it with others. Tell them too, so that they find what they didn’t know they were searching for. Open your eyes and your ears so that you are able to open theirs.

To those who don’t believe: I’m not judging, I’m not criticizing, I’m not condemning. I’m crying out. I want to tell you what I have heard, what I have received, what I believe. It is yours too, if only you want it. Whenever you want it. No matter where you’ve been, what you’ve seen, what you’ve done. It’s yours.

January Days | 2016

La vie continue. Life goes on. After the rush and busy, full, fun days of the Christmas and New Years holidays, life is about to go back to normal. Schoolwork and so on. I am actually looking forward to it, although that doesn't mean I won't miss the beautiful, lazy summer holiday days or being able to see my favourite people all the time. I had an amazing end to 2015, much of which I owe to wonderful people in my life. Or, actually...I owe it to God, for putting these people in my life. I am thankful, thankful, thankful.

And I've had a good start to the new year as well. I feel ready for 2016. I feel the future is bright. Bright, not easy. Not perfect. Still full of problems and heartache and things that are yet to come but will come as they always do. But, bright. It thrills me to know that Jesus is with me. Always. And as long as He is with me, I am His. As long as I am His, I'm safe. Content. Brave, because He is in me and He makes me brave. I don't have to fear what this year holds.

Alright, I think I'm done with my little speech. Ha. I know you enjoyed it. (No, I don't. One assumes, one hopes)

So, here's to twenty sixteen.

---

lately... (I'm just gonna go ahead and include tidbits from December as well, since it was a great month and I didn't blog for the whole of it, not once)

+ spending whole days in the pool and getting sunburned (It is hot here in South Africa at the moment, hot and dry)

+ reading Case Histories by Kate Atkinson and Billie's Kiss by Elizabeth Knox (Both good books, I recommend them. And, do you think I should do book reviews once in a while?)

+ painting with watercolours (Again)

+ having crazy, awesome Christmas and New Years celebrations with fabulous people (Having lots of exuberant little cousins over for Christmas lunch, watching fireworks at twelve a.m. from a hill with friends on New Years eve)
+ having loads of braais (For those of you who don't know, braaing, pronounced bry-ing, is the South African equivalent of 'barbecuing')
+ praying for rain because we're currently in the middle of a terrible drought (All prayers are appreciated)
+ listening to twenty one pilots and getting their songs stuck in my head
+ watching the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens (I enjoyed it, but I know some critics that would scoff at that)
+ going to Retanga Junction with my family, an amusement park where I had my first rollercoaster ride (So much fun)

+ taking family photos while everyone is together for the holidays

+ playing lots of cards and chess and pool
+ writing a novel that I don't want anyone to read (How am I going to publish something someday if I can't even let my sister read it?)
+ making berry smoothies

+ drinking sweet apple and gooseberry ice tea (It's this weather, I tell you)

+ drawing bird illustrations

+ praying a lot about God's plan for my future and just asking Him where He wants me to go, what He wants me to do


...but what about you? Did you enjoy the holidays?

Strings

and here I am again, lifting my wet eyes to the sky

left behind and left wondering how, wondering why

watching a yellow balloon glide through the clouds

I watch and I'm silent even when I want to yell out loud

I'm like a child again, my heart tearing at the seams

I built a shell out of lost hopes and broken dreams

but ghosts walk through locked doors, and I hear myself scream

the light leaves me in the dark as it spills out of me in dull beams

and here I am again, clutching onto what I have left

a crowd of balloons tied to my wrist, still I am bereft

I find their colors reflecting on my skin, so vibrant

baby blue, pastel pink, sunset orange, deep violet

yet, the beauty only reminds me of what I could lose

I know my bones will still break, my flesh will still bruise

storms and winds will come, there will be things lost

things will be taken away, I'll be left to count the cost

empty and hurting because of the smallest of things

because of all the things I hold onto by their strings

-T.H.

28/10/15

I've been there before, destroyed by a stupid love for things. In that, there is a lesson to be learned, and I'm learning it. New knowledge, true knowledge, rebuilt me. (1 Timothy 6:17-19, Luke 12:33-34, Matthew 6:19-21) Don't trust in things. Things are frail. Don't chase after them, they aren't worth it.  I promise that they won't ever fill that hole inside of you, they'll just make more.

Lola

Among the many other things that happened during the (What, two?) months of my absence, we got a Labrador puppy, which I mentioned in one of my last posts.

A puppy, guys. That means: an exuberant, face licking, warm bundle that makes everyday cuter.

There's nothing much more adorable than a Lab pup.

Her name is Lola.

This was her a few days after she came home. She was 5 weeks old.

When she was that age, she slept all the time, and everywhere. Often it happened all of a sudden; she would be playing tug of war with me and then she'd just flop down and fall asleep, in the blink of an eye.

 Even if it did make her tired and sandy, Lola loved the beach. She also loved pulling on the leash and in fact still hasn't learned that it's supposed to lead her, not the other way around.

She grew (And continues to grow) so quickly. She almost tripled her weight in one month. 

This is her today- look at the first picture, and then scroll down to this one again. Yeah, now you know what I mean about how fast she's growing. She was three months old on the 31st of October.

She came to be apart of the family when a friend who's dog had nine puppies offered to give us one. My parents caved after years of saying no to another dog. I don't think they regret it. We all love Lo. I mean, look at that face. Who wouldn't?

5 NaNoWriMo Tips

This morning, after waking up, I was greeted by the sound of a heavy downpour. Rain. Oh, what a beautiful sound. As the water hit the roof of the house and hit the ground, wetting earth that so badly needs it, leaving patterns on the window I gazed out of, I thought: not a bad start to November. (don't be getting me wrong. I love sunny weather, very much, but even I know the loveliness of rain after days of drought) I hope this month is rainy all the way through. This country could use it.

And yes, oh yes, it is November. Which means, Christmas is just that much closer. Which means, Summer is just that much closer. Which means, it's NaNoWriMo. Which, obviously, means it's time to write.

I've never started and followed through to the end with NaNoWriMo, but I'm especially determined this year. It's a wonderful project for any writer, so if you weren't planning on it, I encourage you to give it a shot. Haven't heard of it? Well, read up on it. Maybe you'll find that it's just the sort of thing you'd like to do. And if you decide to join me as well as many other writers, it will be an opportunity to practice perseverance. Not only that, but your writing skills will improve by doing this. We all know the old saying, practice makes perfect. Yeah, well, some claim that they can't see perfection even after all their practice. I've been one to scorn those words as well. But I promise, or rather I know, that this other saying is true: practice makes better. Definitely.

It can be tough trying to complete an entire novel in thirty days. So I've written down a few tips that have helped me before and will hopefully help you.

1. DON'T EDIT.

I was reading lots of articles on NaNoWriMo, and so many of them suggested that you don't edit as you go.

How? That's what I thought at first. 50,000 words in 30 days. How am I going to make it? With everything else in my life that's going on?

I've always been a perfectionist, and sometimes it kills me not to go over the chapter I've just written and fix everything. But don't do that. Use that time to write another chapter, and just keep writing. You can fix it all in December, or even January. All the typos and misspellings, paragraphs that don't make sense, missing explanations, whatever. Ignore that squiggly red underlining. (ugh, that red underlining) For now, just write. Reserve your inner editor. Finish your novel before or on the 30th, bring your plot to life, and then, only later, worry about the professionalism that will be required if you want to publish your book. Which, I myself, would really like to do someday. 

2. SEEK INSPIRATION WHEN YOU HAVE NONE.

Don't just give up when you're inspiration-less. There are ways to be inspired, of course there are.

Often I'll find myself staring at the keyboard, my mind blank as to what I should write next, or how I should write it. Yes, it's what we call a bad case of that condition that writers hate, Writer's Block. 

What do we do to rejuvenate our inspiration? Go outside. Breathe in the fresh air, observe everything around you and just think for awhile. Or, go read a book. One of your favourites, maybe. Reading inspires.

You could also try closing your eyes and teleporting your mind to the world you've created with words. Ponder everything there is to ponder, and then open your eyes to write down whatever idea struck you while you were there.

3. CONNECT WITH OTHER WRITERS.

It's nice to know you're not alone. And NaNoWriMo is sort of like a unison of writers across the world. So, connect with others. Ask them to read some of your work, maybe, ask for CC (constructive criticism) and ask them if they have any ideas they'd like to share with you. Ask for tips that they use themselves, share your own tips. Read their work as well, offer them encouragement.  

4. WHEN WRITING...

What makes a good book? What does everyone look for in a good book?

Realism. Imagination. Escapism.

I think, honestly, what people want most of all, is something real. Real characters, real feelings, real problems, real overcoming and real victories. They want writers to put into words what they've felt but never been able to describe. They want that connection that can only come about through letters printed in ink on a page. I suggest you use aspects of your life, conversations you've had before, experiences you've experienced. Use them as basis for sections and paragraphs in your book. Others want to identify with what you've written, and it's easier for them to do that when you use real life scenarios. Keep it real.

While being realistic is necessary to a certain extent, imaginative ideas should be woven through the story as well. You want to make people think. You want to make them dream, you want to make them wonder. Be creative with your imagination.

Another thing I've found out about humans and books is that we read to escape. To another world. To just climb out of our messy life for half an hour with a cup of tea and a good book. We want to get lost. We want new universes and unheard of places. If you write with captivation, maybe you'll produce something they'll read with captivation. Concentrate on making it worth escaping to.

5. KEEP ON KEEPING ON.

Hold out. Your fingers will probably get tired (whether you type or write with a pen)- your mind will definitely get worn out. But push yourself. Perhaps only then you'll discover what you're capable of.

If you're serious about writing, about being an author, don't give up too quickly. If NaNoWriMo is more of a light thing to you, just something fun to participate in, I guess you don't need to take it so seriously.

As for me? I want to publish a book someday. Even if it's just one book. I really do. And I'm on my way. Slow progress is still progress.

What about you? Is writing something you can see yourself always doing?