31 Jul 2020

Five Minute Friday [23] - God's Plan > Mine

I'm a planner. Some more go-with-the-flow individuals may find a detailed plan too restrictive, too claustrophobic. And I can understand that, I suppose. But me? I thrive on order and knowing what to expect (I'm aware of how OCD that sounds, hah). I find just taking things as they come downright scary at times. Because those things can come at you hard and fast, blindsiding you. In other cases they practice subtlety, sneaking up on you but changing your life in their own way nonetheless.

And Change...well, Change and I have gone backwards and forwards. Sometimes I chase versions of it, thinking it's all I need. Other times, the majority of the times, I'm running from it before it even hints at coming around. Because I like to plan. And Change thinks plans are for suckers.

But no matter how many lists I write or how many plans I make, and regardless of whether I think I've successfully scheduled everything or whether I decide I'm going to go with whatever comes my way after all, the reality is that I'm not in control of what's going to happen. I can't predict how every next step is going to go, whether I'll embarrass or injure myself by falling hard or whether I'll find my legs are getting stronger and my resolve is getting hardier. I can, however, pray for the strength I need, the wisdom I need, the truths I need to be reminded of. I can bow myself in obedience to the God bigger than me, than this path and this journey, than all of everything.

And that...that sounds better than a plan.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. / Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)


So, my five minutes of writing on a Friday turned into a bit of a longer thing, as usual...but, thoughts? What kind of person are you, the sort who is more relaxed about what's up ahead, or someone wants to figure stuff out well in advance? 

If you're the latter, I can relate, and I hope nobody every throws you a surprise party that you didn't really want, or cancels on you on the night of a big event, or changes plans you'd been prepared for to plans that involve the unexpected- and I hope that everything you cook or bake comes out perfectly, that circumstances don't cause you to run late all that often and that the outfit you planned in your head looks exactly as it should when you put it on. But also, and most importantly, I hope that you find peace and strength in the Lord  ;)

10 Jul 2020

Five Minute Friday [22] - You Won't Find It There. It'll Be In His Arms

They say what hurts inside can be turned into art

They say pain paints a picture, calls out to another soul
But what about the kind of pain that wrecks your heart?
The kind that devastates, that leaves nothing left whole
And burns inside at the same time as it leaves you cold?

When you’re growing up they tell you to find your passion
They don’t always warn you of the things, the thieves of this world
That steal away your passion or your ability to imagine
Or what leaves you by yourself in a ball on your floor, body curled

Perhaps it’s in the name of protection and a feeling of safety
No one wants to tell a kid about the dreaded, about all of the scary things
You’re born without a shell but you grow one all too quickly
You still learn about those things, starting from when you have bad dreams

They say we only have this one life, so do what you want
They say that you better live for you and yourself or you’ll get stepped on
But what about forgiveness that’s pure and love that’s soft?
And what if you found when you die that Someone knows all you’ve done?

When you’re growing up you’ll hear that you can be your own god
But that will only leave you in darkness, leave you unable to heal yourself
Your Father wants to tell You how He loves you infinitely and beyond
But will you let that sink in, will you stop putting Him back on the shelf?

Perhaps it’s hard to believe, perhaps it’s unlike anything you’ve ever known
Yet no one could ever love you more than He does
Still, no one finds it easy to surrender and most think they can make it alone
You’re born and your heart hardens over the years

But He can take the pain from your shoulders,
He can remove your heart of stone
And He can make your heart a home

Will you let that sink in,
or will you just let it go?

written: 10/07/20

5 Jun 2020

Five Minute Friday [21] - Lost Or Found?

I wonder what will be waiting for me there
When I crash, when I hit the ground
Because I know I always do in the end
I find myself falling far down
There's a reason they say the cycle is named vicious
There's a reason it makes my heart sick
There's a reason why what hurts can also be precious
Pain can be narcotic if you let it
But disguises aside and all of the pretty poetry disregarded
It can rip through thick skin without you knowing
And when you think goodbye has been said and you've parted
Those tears deceitfully continue growing

So the questions remain
They buzz in my brain

Will gold spill out from the seams?
Will light have a chance to get in?
Or will it just be another gaping wound,
Something lost and not able to be found?

written: 05/06/20

22 May 2020

Five Minute Friday [20] - Questions, Questions

Where can you start,
If you don’t start with the very first thing?
Where is your heart,
If you don’t find it beating, find it loving?

Why are emotions so heavy,
If they are also what in the end uplifts us?
Why are there so many needy,
When some others have more than enough?

How can one pick up all the pieces,
When shards of their broken life have blown away?
How do you cure the diseases,
That are also known as sorrow and anger and pain?

Why do we make the same mistakes twice,
But struggle to do the right thing once?
Why do we try so hard to do what is right,
But then miss it when there’s a chance?

What does my head and mind spin for,
When the answer is simple, is clear and loud?
Could it be that every hurt and scar,
Has a purpose and has a way to turn around?

What if truth is inevitable, what if the light is much stronger?
What if your tears had all been caught, had all been counted?
What if things you doubted you’d need not doubt any longer? 
What if you ran into open arms, into a love never daunted?

There’s a girl whose hurting has turned her cold, numb inside,
But there will be warmth for her soul.
There’s a boy who cries when no one can see it, late at night,
But he can be made once more whole.

What if it was just around the bend, around the corner?
What if it is calling out for you to just come a little closer?
How will you respond to a calling higher, One stronger?
Will you step into a joy deeper than deepest of waters?

I hope that you do,
I hope you live free.
I hope that for you,
And I hope it sincerely.

written: 22/05/20

15 May 2020

Five Minute Friday [19] - There For You

The answer, the words, they're there
I would snatch them out of the sky if only I could reach
What will it take to fight, to care?
As the darkness advances I am searching for a breach

Your heart is heavy in my hand, your eyes are foggy
So I will tell you about all the good and the right things
Because joy will triumph and hope is the enemy of lonely
And we will not cower from what tomorrow brings

The other side of this mountain is green, it's forgiving
I would take you there if I was strong enough to carry you
But until you're able to walk, 'til you're done healing
I will lay down at your side and point out the stars to you

I know I cannot hold on for you, but I can hold onto you
These shallow breaths you're taking are each a step, a move forward
Every second endured and every second won is a breakthrough
So until the way appears clear, until the lines are no longer blurred

I will be there for you


written: 15/05/20